It’s understandable that we are tad bit confused sometimes.
Listening, tuning in, holding space and all “that stuff” is learned by doing, learned by practicing and so, if we’ve lacked this as children we need a whole heck of a lot of practice as adults.
Carrie Fisher was a force and it wasn’t because of a movie role, no matter how loved it is and was. And while I’m sad and shocked that she died at only 60, I am a little relieved, as well at how. I’m glad she it was her heart that stopped and not an overdose or […]
My home was flooded just weeks before my divorce was final. The ocean spilled over the sea wall and headed down the street carrying telephone poles, patio furniture and boat parts. It was 2 a.m. and I was in my bedroom with the cat as my daughter was with her father on one of her […]
Show don’t tell is the first bit of advice almost every writer gets. Don’t give facts if words can form an image. Don’t say a song was fast-paced if words can tap quickly, instead, across the page. It’s good advice but when it comes to ACEs we need both. We need to tell and show […]
This event happened on December 16, 2016 thanks to Riverside Trauma. I’m so grateful that they sought out and were interested in the perspective of a trauma survivor who is a parent, writer and shares from a first-person perspective. It’s so rare and what so many of us have craved. I’ll share here what this […]
“You don’t look 50,” my daughter said. I couldn’t hide the smile. I looked up and into the rearview mirror as if to say, “Well done.” I approved more of a myself for a minute. My years, hidden, and gravity somehow defied. “You don’t look (fill in any age over 30).” It starts early. We do it […]
Afraid is how I feel. As someone with post-traumatic stress, I’m used to being afraid. This is different. This isn’t a symptom. This is reality-based fear. This is the Maya Angelou “When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time” kind of afraid. It’s based on experience and knowing. It’s more than […]
This is an excerpt from an article out today in After Party magazine. Full text. I say it often but I think it’s so important that we trauma survivors speak about our own experiences. The medical model inadvertently creates a lot of silence, shame and secrecy by stigmatizing symptoms of trauma as mental illness. Trauma is […]
I have a friend going through a rough patch. She is physically sick with a back to back virus. This is no fun for anyone but brutal for a single mother with young children. Saturday, she somehow got herself and the kids bundled up and out for a full fall day outdoors. Sunday left her utterly […]
Gail Kennedy, the ACEsConnection Director of Programs shared a fantastic resource with me called: Trauma-Informed Parenting: Supplemental Resources. It is available through the National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN) . It was originally called Caring for Children Who Have Experienced Trauma and as part of a workshop for resource parents in the child welfare system. Resource parents, I believe, […]
I’m thrilled to offer a workshop in Dedham, MA through the Riverside Trauma Center in Massachusetts. It will be held in Dedham, MA and I’ll be speaking as a parent-writer-trauma survivor perspective about ACEs and parenting with post-traumatic stress. The talk, geared mostly to clinicians and social workers and I’m eager to talk about parenting […]
“And I told them, I told them that they deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. And I told them that they should disregard anyone who demeans or devalues them and that they should make their voices heard in the world.” This is the part of Michelle Obama’s speech that killed me. How do […]
I’ll admit, as an activist, I’m often in fight the system mode. I approach even do-gooders with defensiveness. Why? Because trauma survivors have not been invited to the table for decades even when it’s to have a conversation about what trauma survivors need. We need a lot because we’ve been through a lot. Many of us have […]