I’m sharing a slice of a free-write done last week because I love the way free-writing allows me to make new connections. Often, I choose to write heavy to live lighter because secrets burden the body and writing them down gets them out.
However, sometimes writing is simple, basic and playful. That too I appreciate.
When the pen is just going across the paper and there’s little time to worry, “Will this make sense or will anyone get what I mean?” the words just come and follow their own direction.
Last week I wrote about beach towels.
Here is a short snippet, without editing, to stay true to free-writing form and how it can be a little different than I’m trying very hard voice.
Sometimes it’s just fun.
Doubt, I used to think served me, like criticism and judgment. I tried to inhabit the mindset of any critic or detractor.
I was cynical, smart-mouthed and short.
I felt like a knife that knew it could cut with words and it wasn’t a weapon I used but one I sharpened.
I do not want sharp edges at midlife.
The silliness of joy, now, to me – is beauty, youth, vitality.
I am after the soft glow of ease and relaxed even if it means some of my edginess is done.
I want to be a towel spread out on a beach: used, useful colorful warming, drying -a soft base.
Not so rigid the warmth can’t be felt.
*I might rework it, add in how it shakes off the sand or other irritants, hangs out on a banister to dry in the sun and folds up neatly and easily to travel in a bag. Or not. Now, when I am doing laundry, like I was this morning, and folding up a beach towel, I smile. That’s enough.
You Matter Mantras
- Trauma sucks. You don't.
- Write to express not to impress.
- It's not trauma informed if it's not informed by trauma survivors.
- Breathing isn't optional.