Love Notes to Your Nervous System


Here is where you read or write a love note to your nervous system. It’s meant to a place for survivor inspiring survivor. I believe we best know what we need for comfort, support and love but we often don’t remember that wisdom until we’re not terrified, triggered or post-traumatically stressed.

Here’s where we remind ourselves and each other of what we know and have learned. What we sometimes forget.

This is a type of support for mid-symptom kind of times when what you know to be true doesn’t seem to register yet. Eventually, these will be on audio as hearing sound can be more soothing than reading when “in the shit” of post-traumatic stress.

So, if you have some words you want to document for yourself so next time you’re having a hard time (and maybe there won’t be a next time – but just in place) you can retrieve your own counsel. Or, share your gems with others who may not be where you are on the journey yet or right now.

Write a letter and leave it as a comment. Let me know if you want your name shared or to keep it anonymous and I’ll add it the website. The most important thing is to share from your soul. Whatever would help you would help another too. Trust and believe that. Thank you.



P.S. Here’s a link to the Survivor Love Letter Project which is more recent and BEAUTIFUL and inspiring.

Dear You:

Maybe it’s 2 a.m. and you don’t have a therapist on speed dial and don’t want to wake up a spouse, relative or friend.

Maybe you’ve tried every bit of self-soothing and can’t find relief.

Maybe you are looking for something that will make you feel better or just less alone.

This is the place to remember that  “this too shall pass” and breathing is not optional!

When anxiety is gripping or you are having a despair attack I know it’s easy to forget everything you usually know.

And that means you are in the throws of trauma because that’s what trauma does. When the nervous system is on high alert it’s easy to lose contact with all you love, trust and believe. In fact, what you usually know deep can feel remote.

Love Notes to Your Nervous System is Me Reminding Me of What You Probably Know 95% of the Time and Can’t Hold on To When You’re Post-Traumatically Stressed Out.

These notes are for you, for now, if you are feeling triggered or frayed. And if and when you are feeling better, please write a Love Note to Your Nervous System for YOURSELF for next time and/or for someone else! What you know matters. What helps you will help others. Let’s build a reservoir for remembering for the times we forget what we know.







  1. All I can think of is…. WOW.
    I wish I had known about this website months ago, this love note sounds like it was written just to me <3
    I will definitely be back 🙂

  2. Dear me,
    I didn’t know I would ever have good days,I didn’t know the fear would ever become less,I didn’t know that it would sometimes seize to exist and I would one day forget about it.I didn’t know I would one day forgive and for the most part forget.
    This came to be because I started to see the world differently,I started to know that I was worth more and deserved the best and that I had the right to feel good and be pain free.You first have to start telling yourself these things everyday, you have to really be kind to yourself,rest,sleep, eat well, excercize ,laugh and nourish your soul and do these things without guilt.You have to take the time to figure this out, what works and doesn’t work.You have to laugh and cry and share your story until you don’t need to any.ore.Surro d yourself with good kind people?let the rest go.

    • Cissy White says:

      I love that Love Note. THANK You. And this advice is so important!

      “you have to really be kind to yourself,rest,sleep, eat well, excercize ,laugh and nourish your soul and do these things without guilt.You have to take the time to figure this out, what works and doesn’t work.”

      I don’t think we can be reminded of this enough. Thanks for commenting.

  3. Amy Lynn says:

    Dear Me,

    You are amazing. Simply amazing. Brave. Strong. A true Lioness.

    This has been quite the journey so far, yet you are just beginning to live! Finally, you can take ownership of your life. This is your time! You are no longer the victim. You no longer need to hurt or feel ashamed. You are allowed to be imperfect and flawed and messy and chaotic because that’s what makes you so damn beautiful and special. You do not need to be afraid. There is no obstacle greater than the strength you now possess- nothing can get in your way. You are unstoppable.
    So don’t stand in your own way! And let go of what hurts you. Even if its people because you are precious and so is your time and you should be celebrated not hated.

    Share your truth and don’t be afraid to be seen. You are beautiful and your story will help heal and connect you to the world you always felt you didn’t belong to. You are not like your father. Or your mother. Or any of persons who hurt you. You didn’t “ask for it”. You didn’t deserve any of the physical, mental, emotional or sexual abuse. Your father, no other man, no other woman, NO ONE has the right to treat you like a possession. You are not a toy. Especially not a sex toy. You do not need to continue fighting those battles or reliving the torturous torment of those memories. They are over and you my dear are still standing, stronger than ever. You survived! No need to drive yourself mad over it. It will never make any good sense because it was WRONG. And its not your fault. And you don’t need to be that victim anymore. Now you get to be the woman who survived and does amazing things with her life! You beat all the odds! You are a success. You may feel alone, but you are not!

    Forgive, but do not forget. Make boundaries and live life by your own rules. And don’t change those rules for anyone. You are entitled to decide how you will live your life, how you will raise your children, how to have relationships, and how to feel safe. You are not the only one. You are not strange or weird or damaged. You are a surviver!

    Smile more. You have let the past somehow keep your smile. Take it back!

    Take time for yourself and don’t feel guilty for being happy and doing things you like. Keep trying new things and face your fears. Remember this is your life now! And you’re one of the bravest, most fearless women that has ever walked this earth.

    Now Warrior Princess, do not be afraid of what has been done. Its not your fault. Empower others. This is what makes us all strong.

    Don’t be so hard on yourself and know that you do deserve and are worthy of love and a healthy relationship. In the meantime, find what makes you happy and reinvent yourself.

    “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become”- Carl G. Jung

    Lastly, three important things- 1) You are worthy of love and you are enough! 2) You do not “need” someone to make you feel loved because You are already loved and you are enough! 3) Be open to love but know that love is not through physical touch, it is an emotion felt with the heart sent from other people’s hearts. You do not need to be touched to feel loved. And of course, dont forget , you are already loved plenty and you, alone, are enough!

    With all of my love,

    • Cissy White says:

      There needs to be a button for more than Approve. There needs to be one that says ENDORSE and BAM and Heck Ya!!!
      This is great. So great. Thank you for writing it for you, from you and for others! It’s encouraging and empowering!

  4. I am somewhere between feeling ok, and feeling awful.. The void place, where none of this makes sense to me, but yet I know what my truth is.. I know about my abuse, I remember, I feel the fear, I remember my little child self snuggling way in to the blankets, so that I wouldn’t be noticed; my safe place… I’m starting over, after being in therapy for many years… I feel like I am at step one, but yet somehow I know that I am stronger then before. I know now, that people would believe me, because I have a disability, people would still hear me.. Then I did not know.. I was told for many years that I was crazy and so believed this thought that was pounded in to my brain with the force of a hammer. I believed that my feelings had no value, whatsoever.. Because I was disabled, I was not a whole person; but this is not my truth any longer. I am free to spread my wings and fly.. To dream, to love me for who I am and not to pretend.. I am not alone anymore and I AM NOT CRAZY! because I am disabled, I still have my voice…. I am a survivor and no longer a victim of awful torture.. I’m so glad for second and third chances, for the love of strangers, for the love of friends.. Comfort to me is everything that I can love, and help to guide someone through the pain.. I tried to leave this earth one time, but thanks to the grace of God, I did not succeed. I am still here and everyday, I am so thankful to be a survivor. I am victorious over the sexual abuse, the hate, the filthy way that they made me feel. Never again, do I have to wake up afraid, and go asleep in fear. Never again do I have to protect my abusers and it feels so freeing to be rid of this burden. I feel at times, that I am never rid of it, but it’s a work in progress. I have to remind myself, to take those baby steps.. Baby steps are hard aren’t they? But I will not give up. For more then 20 years I was abused. In some form I was shamed, so naturally I need to remember to give myself permission to hurt.. To have loss, to feel that pain and not run away anymore. I thank you for reading and thank you for sharing. Prayers, blessings, and peaceful healing to all of us..

    • Cissy White says:

      Dear Cynthia:
      Thank you for writing. And for reminding everyone else who reads this site to give permission for ALL of the feelings and that baby steps are just fine! In fact, totally perfect!!!! Thanks for your warmth, strength and courage.

    • Cissy White says:

      Also – this line of writing is so important.
      “The void place, where none of this makes sense to me, but yet I know what my truth is.”
      It can be hard to honor this place but you do by writing about it.

  5. I am so glad I was told about this site and this love notes to your nervous system. I will be coming back as often as I can. Thank you.

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