The Pummeling Isn’t Personal

Another love note for your nervous system.

Every morning I take Ella Belle (E.B. White) to the beach to romp and play. She’s a year old. If I don’t tire her out she won’t sleep or rest which means I can’t sit and write.

The beach makes us both happy.

The wind intense.

The air cold.

The ocean loud.

It’s not personal I kept thinking the way it’s pummeling the shore.

It’s not personal. 

 

Just yesterday it was quiet and still and warm.

WP_20151022_003I was sweating.

Now, the rocks are being rearranged by raging cold waters pushing in hard and fast.

The rocks a rain stick turned over on the sand.

There’s sea weed and wind whipping at feet.

Rough and energetic.

 

This beach is being pummeled.

It’s not personal I kept thinking.

It’s not personal.

Which doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.

Or that the place to place the feet is not unearthed.

Shells, boats and even lives get wrecked.

 

It’s just today I know the sand isn’t being punished and the waves aren’t exacting revenge.

The wind isn’t being mean.

Mother Nature can bring a storm, drenching souls in wet and cold.

 

But also this.

The waves that pulled me in

turned me over, held me

up.

On nature’s water bed

I could float, naked,

backside down

and face up

drinking air

or sun

or prayer.

 

The tides are just changing.

The tides are just changing.

Seasons too.

Storms brew and arrive.

Come in and recede.

Thank fuck they always pass.

That can be counted on too.

 

It’s not personal. 

It’s not personal.

It’s not personal.

 

Still, my ears are cold.

The dog wants to fetch.

I’m not protected enough.

My fingers are icy stiff trying to fetch my dog’s ball.

I wish I wore mittens

and had more time…

But it’s not personal

kept washing up

inside.

It felt like comfort.

It felt like truth.

The pummeling isn’t personal.

Sometimes it’s even beautiful.

Like you.




You Matter Mantras

  • Trauma sucks. You don't.
  • Write to express not to impress.
  • It's not trauma informed if it's not informed by trauma survivors.
  • Breathing isn't optional.

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Comments

  1. Elizabetb Ryan says:

    Cissy, If you wouldn’t mind, I would love to share your poem on my FB page, of course giving you and this site credit for same. It really, really spoke to me loud and clear and I believe I know a few others who would enjoy it. If not, that’s fine, in which case I would love to repost this for the same reasons. Wonderfully written..thank you…..

    • Cissy White says:

      Elizabeth:
      Thank you for writing. Thank you for telling it spoke to you. If it speaks to others too that makes me happy. I love when poetry and words and hope travel. Take it away. Feel free to share. Thank you for asking/crediting and reading.
      Warmly,
      Cissy

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