Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Where are the people talking about dating, sex, pregnancy and balancing post-traumatic stress with parenting, careers and long-term relationships?
My goal is to help survivors and give a real face and voice. I write and speak about what it means to break the silence about abuse, trauma and neglect during development and the challenges (and joys) of being a break-the-cycle person and parent.
I came out as a survivor in my forties. I use my real name and picture now when I write about abuse, trauma, abandonment, neglect and sexual violence. I can’t pretend my life hasn’t been impacted by adverse childhood experiences. It was and is. I can’t change that. But it’s a wonderful life.
Secrecy and shame add an additional burden. Survivors have been burdened enough. I’m willing to take a stand and to be a shame-reducing truth teller because I know we heal when we feel less alone. Too many of us whisper thoughts, feelings and experiences in therapy or not at all. We need one another.
Trauma takes a toll. That’s real. But there are many things that can help us feel better. Writing is one of those things.
“If one woman told the truth about her life the world would split open.”
For decades I looked for other ordinary people talking about the things concerning me:
- love, dating & intimacy possible after sexual abuse
- pregnancy with post-traumatic stress and medication
- co-sleeping and breastfeeding as an abuse survivor
- how can I get the love & safety I didn’t get & give it to my kid?
- what do I do with relatives I love who aren’t safe?
- how do I balance career goals with recovery efforts?
- is joy a sock lost in my laundry for life?
- does anyone else find breaking-the-cycle exhausting and amazing?
- did abuse cause a toxic waste site in my cells?
- is early menopause from traumatic stress?
- how can I stop being attracted to unsafe men?
- Where are the other survivors?
And on and on and on!!!!
These conversations rarely happen. I need these conversations.
I’ve heard from so many others that they need them too. That’s why I created Heal Write Now. I don’t prescribe cures or answers. I share and write about trauma from the survivor perspective (anyone else tired of “experts” who aren’t us speaking for us?)
I’ve summarize research, shared notes from trauma conferences and webinars. I’ve interviewed other trauma survivors and shared memoir writing, essays and my quote collection.
If you want to contribute time or money to keeping this site going, thank you!
I’ve created a one-woman labor of love. It’s been fabulous. But if you are independently wealthy, want to help support feminism, breaking silence, sharing resources with others and can help me do that – I will let you. And be thrilled.
I could become a therapist but I want to change the mental health system.
I could be a life coach but I don’t think you are broken and in need of fix. I think you just got hurt too much and too often and are suffering the consequences.
I’m not pretending I speak from anything other than my experiences as a writer, survivor, mother and activist. That’s who I am.
I think adverse childhood experiences are common. We need prevention and advocacy and activism. We need honesty. We need resources that help teach us what we didn’t learn and allow us to share our insights, tools and resources with one another.
Writing is the tool I know can help heal the body, mind and soul.
You are entitled to live with less stress. You deserve to be relieved of the lingering physical impact of traumatic stress. You are amazing, strong and have been through a lot. It’s that simple in my view. You need ways to unburden, get out from under the weight of symptoms and coping. When you have those ways you feel better.
It’s not whining to admit we were hurt by childhood trauma any more than it’s whining when someone in a cast is asked, “How did you break it?”
It’s the truth of the bone we speak of. That’s not being negative. It’s just what happened.
We have so much to share and are entitled to the same safety, joy and health as anyone.
Traumatic stress is real but it need not prevent us from advocating for ourselves and each other and making the world a better place.
We can live, love and parent well after trauma. I know this.
Thank you for being here – and by here I don’t just mean my website – I mean the world. You matter! No one can replace you!
…OR, you can specify your own contribution amount:
Have More Time than Money?
I welcome volunteers and feedback too. I’d love help:
- gathering inspirational and honest quotes, poems and songs
- a list of other survivor advocacy groups to join with
- a list of fabulous resources available online
- other bloggers doing this work
- people or groups looking to support writers, feminists or activists
- anthologies, magazines or galleries looking for survivor writing or art
- conferences or keynotes needing presentations, keynote speakers or panelists
- revenue sources for volunteer efforts
- design ideas for improving the website
- all manner of ways to support survivors
Contact me if you’d like to contribute in any way.
It’s possible to Heal Write Now!!!!